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©2001 chadsux





In This Edition

Robert Parry reports on, "A Quisling Press."

Greg Palast gets metaphorical in, "Reporter In Hot Water."

Alex Keyssar uncovers the cover up in, " Reform And An Evolving Electorate."

Joe Conason cuts through the smoke in, "Was Hanssen A Spy For The Right Wing, Too?"

Gene Lyons reports on Stepford Wives and other republican characters in, "Character A GOP Harangue."

Maureen Dowd follows the president in, "Gore, Back In The Ring."

The Daily Brew compares and contrasts in, "Dred Scott."

Eric Pianin takes us to a Punch & Judy show in, "DeLay Sock Puppet Reveals Opposition To Stem Cell Research."

Barbara Olson wins the "Vidkun Quisling Award."

Molly Ivins watches as, "GOP Launches 'Winning Women' Campaign."

Tally Briggs enters the political trenches in, "San Francisco And The Enemy Within?"

And finally in "Parting Shots Hank Blakely shares another letter from Smirky in," Hughes On First ," but first Uncle Ernie rants on and on about, "The Truth, Republicans And Greg Palast."

This week we spotlight the cartoons of Jeff Stahler with additional cartoons from Rayberry, BushBeer.Net, Ted Rall, Comic-Art, Chris Whitehouse, GWBush Art, Political Strikes and Chadsux.

Plus we have all of your favorite departments! Welcome one and all to "Uncle Ernie's Issues & Alibis." We hope you enjoy your stay!







The Truth, Republicans And Greg Palast

By Ernest Stewart

Yep, it's official. Of his own free will Greg Palast has joined the crew here at Issues & Alibis. My favorite investigative journalist becomes part of the team, WELCOME GREG. Greg had the balls to stand up to the Bush Cartel and tell the truth about them, the last election and their pals. If for no other reason I will always love this man. He has been a voice of sanity against the wail of the corporate 'Media Whores' noise. He is a fine, insightful writer and we welcome his articles.

Who is missing from our line up? If you have a favorite liberal writer that is not currently being featured let us know. Drop us a line at; issues@uncle-ernie.com and I will do my best to include them. We want the very best liberal writers to teach, instruct and entertain us. To make an intelligent choice one needs to know the truth. Chances are you won't be bumping into the truth from your local paper, TV channel or radio program. But not to worry America you'll find the truth here each and every time you drop by.

Well I see where the emperor Smirkus Maximus has gone to ground at Rancho de Bimbo; now being called "The Wolf's Lair" for a month. He said he wants to talk to the cows and listen to them talk to him. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I've heard talk that Bushit isn't really that dumb but pretends to be ala Jerry Ford.

As much as I hate the traitor Ford I'll be the first to tell you that most of his clumsy, dumb guy was just a cover-up. I'm not so sure I can say the same thing about Smirky. Jerry is back writing government funny papers again. Not since that laugh riot "The Warren Report" have I laughed out loud so loud and long. This time Jerry and the Peanut Farmer have teamed up to revamp the voting experience. Of course nothing is being said about last December's treason, I guess we're supposed to overlook and forget about that? Oh and there is no mention either of things that would actually improve and protect voters rights. Meanwhile voter records are being erased in Florida in an effort to avoid treason charges and Jebbie and Kate's dates to sit down in "Old Sparky." Perhaps she could sit in his lap?

Dick Cheney still thinks he's above the law and refuses to give up documents that will prove he sold the country out to the oil cartels, well Duh. Of course in the long run nothing will be done. Notice how he was allowed to pretend to live in Wyoming when he'd been living exclusively in Texas when it was pointed out that the president and vice president couldn't be from the same state. However since they are neither are president and vice-president and are really Fuhrer and Deputy Fuhrer it doesn't really apply. Which brings us to the fact that no laws apply!

Well the treason and sedition laws do but who's going to apply them? Toni (light fingers) Scalia and the Extreme Court? Yeah right. With the Extreme Court in their pocket they can't be touched. If they were brought to trial Smirky would just pardon the whole lot, including himself and Mr. Cheney and that would be the end of that. That's a little trick he picked up from Papa Smirk. Besides with the Nazi control of the house and 49 lock-stepping goose-steppers in the Senate there is no chance for any bills of impeachment.

Does America care? No, not really. Sure there is a vocal minority over here on the left that are raising hell but the average American really doesn't want to know the truth. Because to know and understand would make most of them get up off there fat asses and do something. Not likely a nation of couch potatoes will rally to a revolution. Of course by the time they come for you, to put you in a security or retirement camp it will be way too late. Perhaps our only hope is for the rest of the world to step in and save us from ourselves.

As for myself I'll just stay here and keep titling at wind mills and raising as much hell as I possibly can. Who knows I might wake a few of you up. If each of us just turned five friends and family members on about the state of affairs and each of those five did the same it wouldn't be long until the whole country was awake. No, America just keep on keeping on and if they ask you, take the blindfold. It won't be as upsetting as seeing the firing squad arrive, get ready, take aim and Fire!
© 2001 Ernest Stewart





A Quisling Press Corps
By Robert Parry

After years of denial, The Washington Post has acknowledged the existence of the Right-Wing Machine.

Post national political correspondent John Harris came to this epiphany grudgingly, never using those exact words. But in a Sunday article in the Outlook section, Harris recognized that U.S. conservatives have built a powerful and well-financed apparatus that can dictate the tone of the political discourse in Washington. The article observed that there is no countervailing apparatus on the liberal side of national politics.

In his article, Harris concedes that he’d still like to deny this. Harris writes that his initial reaction to Democratic complaints about the fawning press coverage of George W. Bush was to dismiss the griping as "self-pity," characteristic of President Clinton and his allies.<>P> Nevertheless, Harris does ask the question: "Are the national news media soft on Bush?"

"The instinctive response of any reporter is to deny it," Harris writes, unintentionally revealing how widespread this press corps’ defensiveness is. "But my rebuttals lately have been wobbly. The truth is, this new president has done things with relative impunity that would have been huge uproars if they had occurred under Clinton."

After ticking off a few innocuous reasons why the news media might have gone a little soft, Harris then acknowledges that "there is one big reason for Bush’s easy ride. There is no well-coordinated corps of aggrieved and methodical people who start each day looking for ways to expose and undermine a new president.

"There was such a gang ready for Clinton in 1993. Conservative interest groups, commentators and congressional investigators waged a remorseless campaign that they hoped would make life miserable for Clinton and vault themselves to power. They succeeded in many ways." [WP, May 6, 2001]

As we have reported at Consortiumnews.com since we went online in fall 1995, this Right-Wing Machine indeed has succeeded in many ways. Beyond coloring the immediate political environment, the Machine has altered the nation’s understanding of its own recent history, creating a mythology for the past quarter century. This has occurred with the acquiescence of the national news media and some leading Democrats.

The mythology also is not something of the past. It continues to cost the nation dearly, from the hugely expensive plans to construct Ronald Reagan’s Star Wars dream to rejection of environmental alarms about global warming.

Nixon & Vietnam

The Machine’s origins can be traced back about a quarter century, to the mid-1970s and to two key elements of conservative dogma. One founding myth was the belief that a "liberal" press lost the Vietnam War for the United States. The second was that an innocent Richard Nixon was hounded out of office through a bogus scandal called Watergate.

As it turned out, neither point was true. Historical studies by the U.S. Army concluded that poor strategy, high casualties and overly optimistic battlefield reports were the chief culprits in losing the Vietnam War. Nixon’s own words on the Watergate tapes make clear that he was guilty, guilty, guilty of gross abuses of power during his reign in the White House.

Nevertheless, these twin articles of faith convinced the conservative movement that it needed its own institutions – think tanks, news media and activist groups – to counter the perceived "liberal" bias that had led the public to see the Vietnam War as a terrible mistake and to view Nixon as a corrupt politician.

In the late 1970s, with the coordination of Nixon’s Treasury Secretary Bill Simon, conservative foundations began funneling millions of dollars to think tanks, media outlets and attack organizations that would become the spearhead of the Right-Wing Machine. With Ronald Reagan’s election in 1980, the power of the federal bureaucracy was thrown behind this effort. Reagan authorized what was called a "public diplomacy" apparatus that spread propaganda domestically and targeted journalists who reported information that undermined the prescribed "themes."

Also, in the early 1980s, Rev. Sun Myung Moon began pouring in hundreds of millions of dollars a year from mysterious sources in South America and Asia. He used the money to build expensive media outlets, such as The Washington Times daily newspaper, and to sponsor lavish conferences for conservative activists. Though members of Moon’s inner circle admitted that the Moon organization was laundering money in from overseas to finance his operations, few questions were asked about the source of the cash.

Wobbly Press

During the 1980s, major news organizations began to buckle under the pressure – from The New York Times and Newsweek to National Public Radio and the national TV networks. Reporters who wrote straightforwardly about U.S. military adventures in Central America, for instance, found themselves under harsh attack from the Right-Wing Machine and from the Reagan-Bush administration. Gradually, these journalists were weeded out of the national news media, leaving behind a residue of journalistic quislings who won high-profile spots both in the news columns and on the pundit shows.

Yet, since these journalists had grabbed the high-salaried jobs at the expense of honest reporters who were targeted by the Machine, this new journalistic elite had a powerful self-interest in denying the existence of the Machine. To admit its influence would amount to a self-condemnation.

So, over the years, this caste of top journalists evolved into a bunch of sneering loudmouths who often moved as a pack and would tear apart victims already bloodied by the Machine. Conversely, these journalists and pundits instinctively understood the danger of taking on allies of the Machine. A few conservatives might overreach so much that they became vulnerable but they had a far greater measure of protection.

During the Reagan-Bush years, the Right-Wing Machine mostly worked as a defensive mechanism, protecting Ronald Reagan, George Bush and their subordinates during such crises as the Iran-contra scandal or disclosures of cocaine trafficking by Reagan’s Nicaraguan "freedom fighters." Even, lifelong Republican conservatives, such as Iran-contra special prosecutor Lawrence Walsh, came under withering attack when they dared to press for the truth about Reagan-era scandals.

[For a more detailed summary of this history, see Democrats' Dilemma or Robert Parry's Lost History.] The Clinton Switch

After Bill Clinton’s election in 1992, the Right-Wing Machine switched from playing defense to playing offense. The national media elite switched, too, eagerly joining in the attacks against Clinton for relatively minor indiscretions, such as the Travel Office firings and ill-timed haircuts. The quisling journalists saw their opportunity to attack Clinton as especially liberating because it was a way to free themselves from the conservative label of "liberal media."

As Clinton’s eight years rolled on, the mainstream press corps increasingly merged with the right-wing apparatus. Both elements obsessed on every Clinton indiscretion, invading his personal life in ways that have never been seen before in U.S. history.

In the early days of the Monica Lewinsky scandal, First Lady Hillary Clinton complained about what she called a "vast right-wing conspiracy." Her comment provoked howls of laughter and knee-slapping in the punditocracy. If a "right-wing conspiracy" existed, surely the Washington press corps would have written about it.

Yet, the behind-the-scenes story of the assault on the Clinton Presidency remained a non-story, explained only at Web sites like this one, at Salon.com and in books, such as The Hunting of the President by Gene Lyons and Joe Conason.

While going 24/7 on tales of Bill Clinton’s sex life, the mainstream and conservative press joined in ignoring or pooh-poohing convincing new evidence of major Reagan-Bush crimes. The press corps barely noted in 1998 when the CIA itself admitted that scores of Nicaragua contra units were implicated in cocaine trafficking and that the Reagan-Bush administration had hidden the evidence.

These two journalistic standards existed simultaneously, side by side: one protective of the right’s friends and one destructive of the right’s enemies. Through it all, the mainstream press insisted that it was behaving with professional objectivity.

Campaign 2000

The parallel double standards continued through the 2000 campaign. While Al Gore was called to account for every perceived misstatement – even some manufactured by leading newspapers – George W. Bush and his running mate, Dick Cheney, largely got free passes for lies, distortions and hypocrisy.

For instance, while Gore got hammered for allegedly puffing up his resume, Cheney dodged any significant criticism when he insisted during a vice presidential debate that he received no help from the federal government in his business career at Halliburton Co. In fact, the giant oil services firm had benefited from Cheney-arranged government loan guarantees and juicy Pentagon contracts.

While avoiding criticism for this deception about his business dealings, Cheney was allowed to lead the attack on Gore for alleged petty lies about his achievements. The news media made no mention of the hypocrisy.

This double standard was crucial in enabling the Bush-Cheney campaign to remain competitive in the election. Their campaign lost by only about half a million votes nationally and snuck into office when five conservatives on the U.S. Supreme Court effectively awarded Bush 25 electoral votes from Florida.

Legitimacy

Though gaining the White House as the first popular vote loser in more than a century and the first to reach the presidency through the intervention of allies on the Supreme Court, Bush found the Washington news media eager to grant him a mantle of legitimacy.

In doing so, the press corps oohed and aahed over what might have seemed like serious bungles, such as his handling of a downed U.S. spy plane on a Chinese island.

As Harris noted in his Washington Post article, the reaction would have been quite different if Clinton was the one who claimed the crew members were not hostages and then sent a non-apology letter saying "very sorry" twice to win their release.

"What is being hailed as Bush’s shrewd diplomacy would have been savaged as ‘Slick Willie’ contortions," Harris noted.

Similarly, Bush is allowed to reward his rich donors by granting them closed-door meetings with top administration officials, elimination of regulations and giveaways in his budget. By contrast, Clinton faced months of hearings and screaming headlines over White House coffees and sleep-overs in the Lincoln Bedroom.

Harris ends his Washington Post article with a positive spin. He writes that it is "good for Washington in giving a new president a break at the start. And those people eager to see this president face scrutiny can rest assured: The opposition is sure to awaken."

But there is little reason to think that Harris is right. He may be pleased that the Washington press corps has been generous toward Bush – as the press was to Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush and was not to Clinton and Gore. Harris might not be disturbed by the lack of professional evenhandedness that is supposedly the hallmark of American journalism.

Change?

It is harder to understand why anyone would expect this pattern to change.

Why will the balmy breeze that has so far puffed out George W.’s sails stop blowing? For nearly a quarter century, the national news media has been drifting in the same direction.

Virtually all the top news executives are products of this system. Almost all have been rewarded handsomely by it. Why would they suddenly change course, challenge the right, and risk their careers?

Only a determined effort by Americans who recognize the threat to democracy that this quisling media now represents can change the direction.

Possibly, the only hope is to build an entirely new news media dedicated to the real journalistic principles of honesty and fairness. That will not be easy and will not be cheap. But it should now be clear what the costs are of doing nothing.
© 2001 Robert Parry is an investigative reporter who broke many of the Iran-contra stories in the 1980s for The Associated Press and Newsweek






REPORTER IN HOT WATER

By Greg Palast

Mmmmm. Ahhhhh.

In a hot tub somewhere just outside New York on a humid summer night, your correspondent sinks down into the bubbles in the mood for a True Life detective story.

Here's a good one: Four men on a boat, a cruise ship to Bermuda, July 1994. Back on shore they fell ill, one with a fever so fierce his brain was damaged. One died.

By a one-in-a-million happenstance, three of them sought out the same doctor who just happened to have been, 20 years earlier, on the team investigating the hotel in Philadelphia where several members of the American Legion dropped dead from what became known as Legionnaires' disease.

Suspecting a new outbreak, the doctor alerted the US Center for Disease Control, which dispatched helicopters to scour Barbados looking for the disease's source. Ultimately, Dr Joseph Plouffe, famed legionella bug-hunter, boarded the fateful cruise ship, stuck his arm into a hot tub filter and pulled out a stinking gob of live killer bacteria.

No obvious problem with the filter's design: it had its 'NSF approved' sticker from the National Sanitation Foundation. Obviously, Holmes, the ship's owner did not properly clean the filter. Case closed. Not so fast, Watson! Anyone can print up a label with an official stamp of approval. The label could be a fake, a counterfeit, a cheat. And that's exactly what it was - a fraud, according to a New York jury's verdict in the case brought by survivors and victims of the murderous hot tub filter, the Triton-140.

This week lawyers are preparing to argue compensation to be paid. The jury has already hit the manufacturer, Essef Corporation of Ohio and affiliates, with $7 million in punitive damages.

Essef has since been acquired by a large multinational, Pentair Inc of Minneapolis. Essef insists the jury got it wrong and has asked the judge to overturn the verdict.

But here's what the jury heard. Essef's model TR-140 when fitted to a hot bubbling spa, doesn't filter bacteria -- it grows bacteria. The TR-140's internal plumbing could not rinse away the oily gunk that hot tub aficionados lather on to their bodies. And the company knew it. American tort law has a wide open 'discovery' process, the right to dive through an accused corporation's deepest files. In this case, investigators discovered an extraordinary piece of evidence: a movie, starring the filter. Stanley Kubrick it isn't. In 1986 an Essef engineer filmed red dye running through the filter's plastic guts to illustrate that the health product didn't work, couldn't work. It was designed-in death. Hundreds of thousands have been sold.

Did corporate chiefs see the clip? Yes. They used the film to promote a new device they patented to fix the problem. Unfortunately, their new gizmo failed in the field - and to fix the fix would have sliced a couple of dollars off the profit of each Triton. The company returned to the unmodified version, seeming to forget why they had dropped it.

In 1984, fully 10 years before the deaths in the Caribbean, inspectors caught the company slapping NSF stickers on the filters indicating they could be used in spas. But the company persisted - even when, in 1987, inspectors hit them with a second violation for using misleading labels. When asked why, the company's former vice-president, 'Bud' Fredericks, said, 'You don't stop production.'

(Essef, affiliates and lawyers have not returned our several phone calls. Iin court papers they state the product received its safety approvals on the eve of trial - which did not impress the jury.)

Around 1989, the company's filters also failed a test on the filter's 'head'. Rather than toss out the dodgy parts, the company chose the all-American solution: they shipped the parts, all 10,000 units, to Europe.

And in Europe, they made more filters with new 'NSF approved' labels in English and French - and instructions indicating their safety for use in hot tubs. The company's top Belgian executive testified that the NSF stamp made Europeans believe they were buying the 'Rolls Royce of filters'.

But this isn't about hot tubs. It is my excuse to talk about Freedom of Information, corporate cover-ups, Railtrack, investigative reporting and Julia Roberts.

There is a common myth that America, land of the free market cowboys, is the unregulated Wild West of commerce. Not so. The US has some of the toughest regulators of corporate malfeasance on the planet. They're called lawyers. When acting in the public interest they are, as one told the 'killer filter' jury, 'private attorneys general', enforcers, like Superman, of truth, justice and the American Way.

Often working for huge contingencies or court-granted bounties (not permitted in Britain), they front the millions of dollars for experts, investigators and legal teams needed to decode the harmful secrets in the files of an Essef or a British-American Tobacco Company. In the Legionnaire's case, the cruiseship line Celebrity funded the huge effort to get at the truth - for which the jury awarded Celebrity $2.8 million of the $7m in punitive damages from Essef and affiliates.

Punitive damages, unknown in Britain, are the way in which Americans issue exemplary civil fines. Imagine if Railtrack had to face, like Exxon in the Exxon Valdez case, a few billion quid in punitive damages for its errors - it might have focused Railtrak's attention on track repairs before the Paddington rail crash.

Britons sneer at Americans' predilection for lawsuits, yet cheer Julia Roberts when, as Erin Brockovich, a real-life heroine, she uses tort law to bring Pacific Gas and Electric to justice, a real-life villain.

England's chattering classes applaud America's Freedom of Information Act without recognising that US journalists rely far more on documents prised from litigation discovery, a far better way to get the goods than bothering with procedures under our freedom of information law. (The Guardian's exposing BAT's tolerance of contraband cigarette sales came courtesy of documents placed in a special repository in the UK by order of an American judge handling a tobacco class action trial.)

The US tort system of open discovery, contingent fees, class action and punitive damages is aimed at making the truth about dangerous products known to the public. There's no point uncovering the information if Julia Roberts can't say it or the Washington Post can't print it.

And that is where US and British law are mirror opposites. Whereas US tort law is designed to punish silence and reward revelation, British libel laws reward silence and punish publication.

As a result, in Britain, I've discovered that it is too often the investigators of horrors, not the perpetrators, who end up in hot water.
© 2001 Greg Palast is an investigative reporter for London's Sunday paper, The Observer, and BBC TV's Newsnight. Read, view or subscribe to his column at www.GregPalast.com.





Reform And An Evolving Electorate
By Alex Keyssar

DURHAM, N.C. - The report of the National Commission on Federal Election Reform, issued last week, has the unmistakable earmarks of political compromise. Led by former Presidents Jimmy Carter and Gerald Ford and populated by notables from both major parties (with a few eminent civilians thrown in), the commission endorsed an array of election reforms that will not rock many boats. The commission remained squarely within a long tradition of minimal federal involvement in the conduct of American elections.

Indeed, there is a certain innocence about the report - an innocence of history and of the hard-knuckled realities of American politics. The text and recommendations read as though the problems with Election 2000 were inadvertent and accidental: somehow, a nation fully committed to democratic processes let things slip, and we ended up with hanging chads, antiquated machinery, an enraged black community and a surfeit of lawyers.

But our history suggests otherwise: the very unpretty election of last November emerged from deep currents in American political life. Although we don't like to acknowledge it, there have always been strong antidemocratic forces in the United States. Large numbers of Americans, throughout our history, have not believed in universal suffrage and have acted accordingly. Their presence delayed the achievement of a fully enfranchised population until roughly 1970 and produced many episodes in which the right to vote contracted.

The most extreme and well-known examples involve African-Americans in the South who were deprived of their constitutionally protected right to vote for more than 70 years. But antidemocratic Southerners have had plenty of company, and not just in the early days of the republic when voting was limited to men of property. National women's suffrage was not finally adopted until 1920. Rhode Island imposed a property qualification on all foreign-born citizens for much of the 19th century; California went to great lengths to prevent Asians from voting; New York adopted an English language literacy test in 1921 that was still disfranchising hundreds of thousands of people in the 1960's. In the 1930's, an organization headed by George Wickersham, a former United States attorney general, actively sought to disfranchise unemployed workers who were receiving federal relief.

The resistance to democracy affected voting procedures as well as the right to vote itself; indeed, the erection of procedural obstacles to voting was often a strategic response to the formal enfranchisement of people considered undesirable. The registration systems that emerged in the late 19th century, for example, were not simply good government reforms designed to eliminate corruption (which is how the Carter-Ford commission describes them); they were also efforts to keep immigrants and the poor from voting by interposing layers of paperwork and deadlines between potential voters and the ballot box.

The decline in turnout in American elections, which began at the end of the 19th century, was not an accident or the symptom of a mysterious malady. Both in the North and in the South, turnout was reduced, in good part, by laws designed to keep citizens from the polls and to prevent popular dissident parties from effectively contesting elections. Alabama's disfranchisement of men convicted of crimes like vagrancy and adultery - even after time had been served - was expressly crafted at the turn of the century to limit black participation in politics. (Similar laws limit black Alabaman voting today. Such permanent disfranchisement would be eliminated by the Carter-Ford recommendations.) In 1907, Pittsburgh's newly created voter registration board crowed about the "good results obtained" under a recently passed Pennsylvania registration law: in two years, the number of registrants was nearly halved.

The two major political parties have been key actors in this long- running drama, and neither has an umblemished record of embracing democratic principles. While Republicans courageously (and self-interestedly) pressed for the enfranchisement of African-Americans after the Civil War, they made it difficult for immigrant workers to vote in Northern cities. The Democrats took the opposite position, fighting to include immigrants while staunchly defending racial barriers in the South. Republican state parties often instituted complex registration and procedural rules to limit the number of votes cast by supporters of urban Democratic machines; frequently the machines, dominated by Irish politicians, learned to live with the rules and then used them to restrict the participation of other immigrant groups.

This should not surprise us. The two major parties are in the business of winning elections rather than promoting democracy, and elections can be won by disfranchising opponents, making it procedurally difficult for them to vote or not counting their votes at all. As political professionals learned long ago, an electorate that is predictable in size and composition is generally far preferable to large turnouts and mass participation.

There is an innocence, too, in the Carter-Ford commission's reluctance to recommend greater national authority over the conduct of elections. The issue, to be sure, is a delicate one. But democracy is a national value, and there is nothing inappropriate about the national government's enforcing its fulfillment. Throughout our history, the claim that voting was a state matter, rather than a federal one, has invariably been deployed by those who wanted to restrict any expansion of the franchise. "States' rights" was the cry of opponents of the 15th Amendment, the 19th Amendment and the Voting Rights Act of 1965. Indeed, the revolution in voting rights of the 1960's - and it was nothing less than that - came from Congress and the federal courts precisely because both believed that the national government ought to be the guarantor of democracy and that states with undemocratic political institutions could not be trusted to democratize themselves.

If the recommendations of the national commission are implemented, and many of them probably will be, the chances of having a replay of last year's electoral crisis will be greatly diminished. But political crises rarely repeat themselves according to the same script, and the prescriptions offered will do little to address the more subterranean faults in our political life that became visible during and after Election 2000: the alienation and anger of much of the black community; the pitfalls of the Electoral College and the ways in which it skews political campaigns; the high rates of nonvoting, particularly among the poor and less educated; the dangers of partisan control of election administration; the cavalier and disrespectful treatment of voters in many locales; and the absence, as the Supreme Court observed in Bush v. Gore, of a constitutional right to vote for president. If our electoral system is to become, as the commission hopes, "a source of national pride and a model to all the world," a great deal of work remains to be done.
© 2001 Alex Keyssar, professor of history and social policy at Harvard's Kennedy School, is author of "The Right to Vote: The Contested History of Democracy in the United States.




Hanssen spied on Americans



Was Hanssen A Spy For The Right Wing, Too?

Should the national media ever manage to transcend the current preoccupation with the personal affairs of a certain Congressman, perhaps the time will come when attention turns again to an equally intriguing topic: the twisted politics of confessed F.B.I. traitor Robert P.Hanssen.

Emerging almost unnoticed in recent weeks were three strange but significant stories about the Hanssen case. What they suggest-along with other information unearthed previously about the longtime Soviet spy-is that he may have simultaneously functioned as a right-wing operative at the highest level of American law enforcement. If that sounds outlandish, consider the evidence.

The question of Mr. Hanssen's political affiliations first arose following his arrest, when it became clear that his treason had been motivated by money rather than ideology. He was no leftist but instead, as Newsweek reported in early March, a devout member of the secret, controversial and ultraconservative Catholic lay order known as Opus Dei. Liberal Catholics have frequently accused Opus Dei, which answers directly to the Vatican, of pursuing secular political influence and quashing modern reforms in the Church.

Now it appears that Mr. Hanssen once held a key bureaucratic position from which he may have promoted these objectives. On July 29, the Los Angeles Times published a lengthy investigation of his role as a top F.B.I. overseer of domestic counterintelligence operations. From documents obtained through the Freedom of Information Act, many of which bear his handwritten initials, the Times discovered that Mr. Hanssen spent several years directing the bureau's notorious Reagan-era probes of American liberal and peace organizations. Such groups were deemed inimical to the objectives of the conservatives then in power, who tended to regard dissent over the nuclear-arms race and war in Central America as Soviet-influenced and subversive.

According to the paper, those redacted files refer repeatedly to the bureau's Soviet Analytical Unit, where Mr. Hanssen served as deputy chief. Among the unit's responsibilities was "to digest raw intelligence reports regarding alleged subversion." Its analysis would then be provided to "the White House, Congress, and occasionally, the public."

As later Congressional investigations would show, what this often meant in practice was the harassment and sometimes the smearing of Americans engaged in lawful political activity. Among the many groups under surveillance by the F.B.I. in those days were the Gray Panthers, nuclear-freeze advocates associated with SANE-and the left-leaning Catholic adversaries of Opus Dei who opposed the American-backed repression in Central America.

What the L.A. Times story doesn't explore is how the raw intelligence data reviewed by Mr. Hanssen may have been misused-and whether he was ever in direct contact with anyone at the White House, in Congress or in the news media regarding alleged liberal subversion.

That certainly seems possible in light of another revelation, under the venerable byline of Robert Novak. The conservative columnist admitted on July 12 that Mr. Hanssen had served as his main source for a 1997 column attacking Janet Reno, then the U.S. Attorney General, for supposedly covering up 1996 campaign-finance scandals. Although Mr. Novak still believes that the information offered by Mr. Hanssen was valid, even he cannot help wondering whether Mr. Hanssen was "merely using me to undermine Reno." (Adding another dimension to this curious confession is Mr. Novak's reportedly close relationship with a prominent Washington cleric who works in Opus Dei's offices near the White House.)

Apparently Mr. Hanssen would have been eager to use Mr. Novak against the Clinton administration, if a June 16 cover story published by Insight magazine is to be believed. The author, Paul Rodriguez, obtained numerous e-mails allegedly written by the spy in recent years, some of which include venomous invective against President Clinton and his appointees. The messages are full of speculation about subjects ranging from Mr. Clinton's personal behavior to the Elián González and China fund-raising affairs. One of the Hanssen e-mails concludes sardonically, "I guess from this you can determine that I am not a big fan of Clinton." The article omits the names of the recipients of those messages. Perhaps the magazine was protecting the privacy of innocent persons-or its own sources. It ought to be noted, however, that Insight is a conservative publication, put out by the same outfit that publishes the Washington Times.

All these stories, taken together, are merely pieces of a much larger jigsaw puzzle that may or may not ever be completed in public view. There is considerable irony, of course, in the news that a confessed Soviet agent was responsible for spying on innocent American citizens in the name of patriotic vigilance. But Mr. Hanssen, who avoided the death penalty by agreeing to reveal everything he knows and did, may have some truly troubling stories to tell about the American side of his double life.
©2001 Joe Conason



Quotable Quote

They (corporations) cannot commit treason, nor be outlawed nor excommunicate, for they have no souls ... Sir Edward Coke 1552 - 1634






Character A GOP Harangue

By GENE LYONS

"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe. And what I believe ... I believe what I believe is right." --George II, son of George I and Queen Barbara

"I believe, do believe, I believe--yeah, believe pretty baby. Believe you're goin' steady with nobody else but me." --Rick Nelson, son of Ozzie and Harriet

Like TV evangelists, today's Republican thinkers are never more acute than when they're haranguing us about "character." Which pretty much amounts to sex, as they see it.

Also like the preachers, nothing turns them on like other people's sins.

Recently, this column pointed out that the right-wing myth of a lost Golden Age of private virtue and public tranquility precedes the written word. In Homer's oral epic, "The Odyssey," composed around 1200 B.C., the ghost of murdered King Agamemnon warns that "the day of faithful wives is gone forever."

Now George II bids to restore the ancient virtues. According to The Washington Post, his handlers, frustrated by the White House's stalled domestic agenda, plan a media campaign to put "more emphasis on the presidential role of moral leader with a series of executive actions and legislative proposals designed to foster community spirit and family values." They call it "Communities of Character." The idea is to harken Americans back to those halcyon days of yesteryear when George W. Bush was a Yale frat boy, Richard M. Nixon was president of the United States and Orval Faubus was governor of Arkansas.

That's no joke. According to the Post, a White House document that charts public opinion for 33 years argues that "[c]ompared to 30 years ago, Americans are more worried about moral values, the breakdown of the family and decline in civic life. The public wants government and individual elected officials to play a more active leadership role in dealing with declining values."

It's an odd number, 33 years. Subtract it from 2001 and what do you get? 1968, maybe the craziest year in American life since the Civil War. Russia invaded Czechoslovakia, Martin Luther King Jr. and Bobby Kennedy were assassinated, weeks of rioting broke out in cities across America, universities erupted in protest and Nixon was elected on the basis of his "secret plan" to end the Vietnam War. It was a jagged, mad, dangerous time.

To implement this wondrous plan, White House thinkers have consulted media bigs in places like AOL Time Warner Inc., MTV and Viacom. We recommend a Jimi Hendrix revival and a new Woodstock Festival. But if the goal is to cut down on prime-time smut, maybe they need to have a word with the Republican National Committee and the authors of "The Starr Report." It's gotten to where you can't turn on the TV without seeing Rep. Bob Barr, R-Ga., and Mrs. Theodore B. Olson airing some Democrat's dirty laundry.

But back to 1968. To GOP thinkers, the imagined Golden Age of virtue has to occur before Watergate but not under Democratic leadership. Ike and the Fifties are too long ago, and Republicans don't want to be accused of pining after racial segregation. So it's 1968 by default.

That's not to say that all of Bush's moral regeneration schemes are crazy. On July 30, the Post reported that the administration is cutting funding for family planning and contraception while putting big bucks into "abstinence-only" programs run by evangelical churches. Given the vast success of preachers from St. Paul to Mike Huckabee in discouraging people from indulging in sexual intercourse, this is a dandy idea. A modest suggestion: Why not borrow an idea from noted British author George Orwell and start a "Junior Anti-Sex League"?

Last week, four women practitioners of GOP agitprop gave an interview to the London Sunday Telegraph. Sitting on a plush verandah in the suburbs puffing cigarettes and helping themselves to a pitcher of gin and tonic. Danielle Crittenden, Barbara Ledeen, Kate O'Beirne and Mrs. Theodore B. Olson held forth on the failings of Democratic women. All four have worked for an outfit called the Independent Women's Forum, a Richard Mellon Scaife-funded "think tank" devoted to attacking a caricature they call feminism and blame for most of America's ills--divorce, illegitimacy, school shootings, the lot. They've made full-time careers urging other women to quit thinking of themselves as "victims" and stay home, submit to their husbands and support the manly men of the GOP.

O'Beirne, National Review editor, joked that given women's support for Al Gore, maybe it's time to rethink female suffrage. She opined that if women preferred Tipper Gore to Laura Bush, "it was because Tipper doesn't have her act together. Tipper's a little heavy, she's had problems--Tipper has shown weakness. Laura is self-contained, a little too perfect."

No point dwelling on the first lady's own figure flaws. She didn't ask these four middle-aged "Heathers" to defend her. Instead, let's take a look at Mrs. Theodore B. Olson's ideal of womanly virtue. When she's gossiping and backbiting on TV instead of a suburban verandah, Larry King and Geraldo Rivera introduce her as "former federal prosecutor" Barbara Olson. She became Solicitor General Ted Olson's second wife at a ceremony solemnized by Kenneth Starr. Why do Republican men have more character and virility? "Look at Bill Clinton's mother, as opposed to George W.'s mother," Olson urged. "Is your mother a barfly who gets used by men? Or is your mother a strong woman who demanded respect for her ideas and always received it?"

Yesterday, Mrs. Theodore B. Olson apologized. After all, she'd been drinking.
© 2001 Gene Lyons






Gore, Back In The Ring

By Maureen Dowd

WASHINGTON — The beard is magnifique. So Continental, so Pepe Le Pew.

In all those pictures from Europe, the newly hirsute Al Gore, looking like Orson Welles, strolls contentedly after a repast in Rome with Tipper.

He has a sly, freshly liberated expression that you usually see only on guys of 18, when they're finally old enough to escape from their parents, principals and guidance counselors, go off on a trek to Europe and grow a goofy-looking beard.

It took Prince Albert, who has to choreograph spontaneity, decades to break away — to escape from his alpha-male coach, media mercenaries and overshadowing political sibling, go off on a trek to Europe and grow a goofy-looking beard.

With his Hemingway growth and Heineken girth, all Mr. Gore needs is a pack of Gitanes and an earth-tone beret. It is très formidable that Al can be so insouciant, playing the romantic, carefree expatriate when he is really the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!

All the fervid speculation last week about whether Mr. Gore would run again in 2004 — despite Tipper's resistance — was piffle.

Of course, Al is in the ring. The way he sees it, he isn't starting all over. He is running for re-election — against a man he has already defeated. He just needs to evict the Occupant at 1600 Pennsylvania, the Scalia squatter. After all, W. is never there anyway. And even when he's there, he's not there.

Gore has been playing hard to get, like George Washington or a Rules girl, waiting for the clamor of his party and his public. It is likely to be an interminable wait.

Even though he may have technically won, most Democrats, including Bill Clinton, Terry McAuliffe, the party chairman, and a pack of bitter fund-raisers, still rate him a loser. He was never surrounded, as Reagan and W. were, by rabid loyalists. And one top Gore campaign aide confessed recently that there was not a single day during the race when he thought Gore would win.

After a lifetime in politics and eight years in the West Wing, the vice president spent the campaign trying to find himself and fine-tune his wardrobe's palette. He could never figure out how to capitalize on a popular, if flawed, president, chafing to campaign. And he isolated himself, relying on the advice of his wife and daughter as he lobbied the elite media clique.

At W.'s inauguration, as Bill Clinton and Al Gore walked down the stairs, Bill stopped at James Baker's row. "You were good in Florida, man, damn good," Elvis told the Velvet Hammer. Gesturing toward Mr. Gore, he went on: "But if this [epithet] would've listened to me and put me out on the trail, you'd of never had the chance to be good."

Does Mr. Gore really think that all the Ken dolls — John Edwards, Evan Bayh, John Kerry — much less his eager ex-protégé, Joe Lieberman, will simply step aside and say, "Oh, O.K., Al, you go again"? Does he think he'll get a green light from Tom Daschle, the clever, potent Senate majority leader who de-pom-pommed Mississippi cheerleader Trent Lott?

Democrats are exasperated all over again by the plodding, self-conscious way Mr. Gore is backing into his re-emergence by hosting a political academy for recent college graduates in Tennessee (the home state he couldn't carry). His speech is not open to the press. "It is just like Gore," sighs a Democratic official, "to try not to look political when what he is doing is so obvious."

He's trying to act as if he has a machine, but it's a chimera. What are his passions, except getting what he feels he earned by toiling in the High Chair King's court?

As W. and Uncle Dick went about strip-mining the nation, allowing arsenic in the water and turning Alaska into a gas station, Democrats assumed Mr. Gore would lead the opposition. He was the champion of Kyoto and author of a chicken-little polemic warning of "an ecological Kristallnacht" and "wasteland" that looks mild compared to the toxic dreams of the Houston Oilers.

But he was too busy licking his wounds and calculating his comeback to respond when the Earth really was In the Balance. He was too caught up in an image of himself as a bearded, buff Russell Crowe, standing in the Coliseum, listening to the mob scream his name: Maximus, Maximus.

Poor Al. He is the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, and yet he never will be.
© 2001 Maureen Dowd





Comparing the results of the election of 1860 with the election of 2000, you can easily get the feeling not much has changed in this country.



Dred Scott
The Daily Brew

If there is any indisputable fact about the Presidential election that will harden into the granite of history, it is simply that the election was decided not by the voters, but instead by the Supreme Court. Even the most ardent Bush supporter cannot quibble with the reality that, rightly or wrongly, the Supreme Court ended the uncertainty associated with the counting of votes, and in so doing, determined the outcome of the election.

It is this truth, more than the tortured logic of the actual decision, that will mark the five member majority as having authored the perhaps the second most fundamentally anti-democratic example of jurisprudence in the history of the United States. However, calling the decision a blatantly political act that showed contempt for not only the law, but also the very institution of the Court itself, may miss the point. Perhaps these five members of the Supreme Court didn't merely set out to frustrate of the will of the electorate for partisan purposes. Instead, perhaps these five members were settling a long standing score, a grudge against democracy dating back to the election of 1860. For if Bush v. Gore was the second most poorly reasoned and blatantly political decision in the Court's history, the election of 1860 was a direct repudiation of the first.

In the early 1840s, Dred Scott, the slave of a U.S. Army doctor from Missouri, had accompanied his master to different army posts in the United States and the western territories. Most of the northern states had laws offering freedom to slaves who entered accompanied by their masters. Additionally, in the Missouri Compromise, Congress had prohibited slavery in the territories north of the southern boundary of Missouri. Because he had spent two years in a free state and a free territory, Dred Scott, backed by abolitionists, sued for his freedom in 1846. In 1856, the case reached the U.S. Supreme Court, and on March 6, 1857, nine justices filed into the courtroom in the basement of the U.S. Capitol. They were lead by Chief Justice Taney, who then read the infamous Scott v. Sandford decision. Just as the court's decision in Bush v. Gore frustrated the fundamental bedrock of democracy, the conduct of fair and free elections, Taney's decision in Dred Scott frustrated the fundamental bedrock of liberty, the recognition that people are not, and cannot be, property.

The court had ruled that no black man, free or slave, was a U.S. citizen; and therefore "had no rights which a white man was bound to respect." Accordingly, a black man had no right to sue in federal court, and Dred Scott was forever condemned to slavery. The Court went further, though, ruling that the Congress never had the right to ban slavery in the newly settled Territories, because the Constitution protected people from being deprived of life, liberty, or property, and slaves were property.

The Supreme Court had sought to end, for once and for all, the contoversy surrounding slavery in the growing nation. For as both Northerners and Southerners knew, with respect to slavery, as the Territories went, so went the Nation. The Court did so by appeasing the South, a majority of whose great-grandchildren would one day support George Bush, at the expense of the North, a majority of whose great-grandchildren would one day support Al Gore. In so doing, they seemingly institutionalized slavery as a permanent feature of the Union, and the status of blacks as property. As they would again with the election of Bush, the white men of the South rejoiced at the Dred Scott decision, as their economic fortunes had been built directly on slavery. Abolitionists in the North, outraged by the Court's holding in Dred Scott, seemingly had little recourse. At least not until the election of 1860.

Leading up to the election of 1860, the editors of the Atlantic Monthly were perhaps too prescient in reporting "the Slave-System is one of those fearful blunders in political economy which are sure, sooner or later, to work their own retribution." At the same time, the Atlantic made plain that the 1860 election was a contest to undo the immorality hoisted upon America by the Supreme Court in Dred Scott:

"Whatever be the effect of slavery upon the States where it exists, there can be no doubt that its moral influence upon the North has been most disastrous. It has compelled our politicians into that first fatal compromise with their moral instincts and hereditary principles which makes all consequent ones easy; it has accustomed us to makeshifts instead of statesmanship, to subterfuge instead of policy, to party-platforms for opinions, and to a defiance of the public sentiment of the civilized world for patriotism. We have been asked to admit, first, that it was a necessary evil; then that it was a good both to master and slave; then that it was the corner-stone of free institutions; then that it was a system divinely instituted under the Old Law and sanctioned under the New. With a representation, three-fifths of it based on the assumption that negroes are men, the South turns upon us and insists on our acknowledging that they are things. After compelling her Northern allies to pronounce the "free and equal" clause of the preamble to the Declaration of Independence (because it stood in the way of enslaving men) a manifest absurdity, she has declared, through the Supreme Court of the United States, that negroes are not men in the ordinary meaning of the word. To eat dirt is bad enough, but to find that we have eaten more than was necessary may chance to give us an indigestion. The slaveholding interest has gone on step by step, forcing concession after concession, till it needs but little to secure it forever in the political supremacy of the country. Yield to its latest demand,--let it mould the evil destiny of the Territories,--and the thing is done past recall. The next Presidential Election is to say Yes or No".

Republican partisans still overjoyed with the Court's decision in Bush v. Gore, particularly those in the South, would do well to remember the fallout of the Dred Scott decision. The Supreme Court had hoped they would end the controversy. Instead, Dred Scott simply fanned the flames of abolitionism. What at the time appeared to be the ultimate victory of slavery, would in the end cripple their cause. In the 1860 presidential election, Northern progressives, the abolitionists, repudiated the court, soundly electing Abraham Lincoln President. Days before Lincoln was to be sworn into office, the South suceeded from the Union. Within months, the Nation was plunged into the bloodiest and costliest war in its history, a war that ultimately decimated the South.

Perhaps Bush v. Gore will have a similar effect on today's progressives. Still, if progressives manage to repudiate the Court in the next Presidential election, I rather doubt that the protégé's of Southern sucessionists, the Republican "bourgeois rioters" who stormed of the Miami-Dade vote-counting room, will follow in their great grandfather's footsteps. Unlike their slaveholding forefathers, I suspect they haven't the courage for a real fight.
© 2001 The Daily Brew





DeLay Sock Puppet Reveals Opposition To Stem Cell Research
By Eric Pianin

House Speaker J. Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.) yesterday declared his opposition to federal funding of embryonic stem cell research, joining a chorus of conservative leaders attempting to pressure President Bush to their side on an issue that has sorely divided their party.

Hastert has held back for weeks while Bush has agonized over the issue and has come under mounting pressure from other GOP congressional leaders, antiabortion forces and even Pope John Paul II, who argued that the creation of human embryos for stem cell research is equivalent to infanticide.

Citing his "pro-life" philosophy, Hastert said on NBC's "Meet the Press" that "I don't think at this point there ought to be federal funding, but I want to look at all the debate before I make solid that decision."

As Congress begins a final busy week of activity before the August recess, Hastert said he will push for passage of an energy package including Bush's controversial plan for drilling in Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. He said he is still hoping to bring up patients' bill of rights legislation, provided the White House and House members can work out stark differences in two competing proposals.

Administration officials and Rep. Charles Whitlow Norwood Jr. (R-Ga.), chief sponsor of the bill closest to the one adopted in the Senate, are trying to settle differences over expanding the rights of patients to sue health maintenance organizations and insurance companies over treatment decisions that result in injury or death.

Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy G. Thompson told "Fox News Sunday" that the White House was just six to 10 votes short of what it needed to defeat Norwood's bill and to push through a more restrictive version favored by Bush.

Hastert's comments on stem cell research present additional problems for the White House, which already is feeling intense cross-pressures as the president tried to define a policy on whether the government should help pay for research using the medically promising but ethically controversial cells.

Stem cells are basic cells theoretically capable of developing into any type of tissue, which may prove useful in treating diseases such as Parkinson's or diabetes. Scientists have retrieved stem cells from adults, but many say embryonic stem cells are more versatile and therefore more promising.

Last week, more than 200 House members -- including 40 Republicans -- sent a letter to Bush urging him to support federal funding of the research, saying, "You have the lives of millions of our -- and your -- constituents in your hands."

Fifty-nine senators have also written to Bush in support of the research. A few prominent conservatives, including Sens. Orrin G. Hatch (R-Utah) and Strom Thurmond (R-S.C.), have argued in support of stem cell research, saying the cells hold such promise it would be anti-life not to pursue it.

However, Bush's chief political adviser, Karl Rove, has expressed concern that funding embryonic stem cell research would cost the president Catholic votes.

Hastert said, "I personally am pro-life, [and] I think . . . taking and killing those embryos certainly doesn't go along with that sanctity of life issue that I think is important."

As for efforts to reform laws regulating health maintenance organizations, Hastert said that "progress is being made" in reconciling the differences in the competing bills and suggested that he may delay the vote until September if negotiators need time.

"Why stop that process now when you're making progress?" he said. "We think progress is being made. I hope we can move the bill next week."

Like the patient protections approved by the Democrat-led Senate in June over White House objections, the far-reaching measure proposed by Norwood and Rep. John D. Dingell (D-Mich.) would clear the way for injured patients to sue and win jury awards of up to $5 million in federal court and unlimited damages in state court.

Bush has threatened to veto the measure, warning it would drive up the cost of health care and force millions of Americans into the ranks of the uninsured.

Late last week, Bush began to personally pressure House Republicans to adopt the more limited protections he favors, a day after House leaders postponed a vote on the issue to avert a GOP defeat. The administration is backing an alternative authored by Rep. Ernie Fletcher (R-Ky.).

"We need to get a bill that the president will sign," Hastert said.

Hastert also hinted that the Republicans eventually may have to renege on their pledge to never again use Medicare trust fund surpluses to cover the government's daily operating expenses. For the past two years, the Republicans have made political hay by promising voters to "lock away" surpluses in the Social Security and Medicare programs. But the newly passed tax cut and a downturn in the economy have begun to erode long-term surplus forecasts, making it less likely that the Republicans will be able to keep their promise on Medicare.

Whether the Republicans can keep that pledge beginning next year "is debatable," Hastert said, adding, "We're trying to stay out of it."
© 2001 Eric Pianin



Dead Letter Office

Heil Bush,

Dear Propaganda Ansager Olson,

Congratulations you have just been awarded the Vidkun Quisling Award for 2001. Your name will now live throughout history with such past award winners as Marcus Junius Brutus, Judas Iscariot, Benedict Arnold, Vidkun Quisling and last year's winner Volksjudge Antoni (light-fingers) Scalia.

Without your help shilling for us, spinning the truth, telling out right lies and ignoring the real news, holding onto power after our Coup D' Etat would have been impossible. With the help of our mutual friends, the other "Media Whores," you have made it possible for all of us to goose-step off to a brave new bank account.

Along with this award there will be an Iron Cross 2nd class presented by our glorious Fuhrer Herr Bush at a gala celebration in der Wolf's Lair (formerly Rancho de Bimbo) on 9-03-2001. We salute you Frau Olson! Sieg Heil!

Signed,
Deputy Fuhrer Cheney

Heil Bush




Republican women gather for pep rally!



GOP Launches 'Winning Women' Campaign

Molly Ivins

AUSTIN -- Gee, how nice. The Republicans are mounting a big campaign to win women over to their cause. The campaign is called "Winning Women," and The New York Times says they're going to spend millions on us. Take off your aprons, girls, and get your hair out of those pincurls -- we have a new beau. The GOP is coming to woo us.

If I may offer our new suitor a little advice: Don't send candy, don't send flowers. Here are a few things we could use.

One of the most notable deformities in our country is the utter failure of government to respond to the fact that women work. The GOP is funded by businesspeople who won't even think about a six-month paid maternity leave, as is common in Europe, or federal funding for child care. There's a weird Republican schizophrenia: They want welfare mothers to work and working mothers to stay home. Among the Republican women we see most -- who are more often the wives of, rather than senators or representatives -- there is some kind of weird time warp, in which the women uniformly resemble Beaver's mom, Mrs. Cleaver, who always wore pearls and high heels to vacuum.

An actual woman is heading "Winning Women," and she is a suburban mom. Nothing wrong with suburban moms -- in fact a splendid group -- but they are not most of us. According to the last census, the two-parent family with a stay-at-home mom is increasingly rare and not likely to be urgently in need of government help. But I guess they vote more than working moms, who are really busy and really tired.

Here are some other ways government could help women. A lot us of work in factories, and a lot of us do office work. Jobs like data entry, not to mention tougher physical factory work, involve repetitive motion. This leads to everything from chronic back problems to carpal tunnel syndrome.

On his first day in office, President Bush put a plan to deal with repetitive stress injuries on hold. It was then killed by the Republicans in Congress in March. While it was very nice of Bush to appoint an actual woman, Elaine Chao, secretary of labor, it would be even nicer if the hearings the Labor Department is currently holding on repetitive stress were not so painfully obviously stacked in favor of business. I especially liked the doctor who testified that back pain is more likely to be caused by stress, anxiety and depression than heavy lifting.

"It is better to stay at work with a little pain than to adopt a lifestyle of disability," said this stoic. Another doctor expressed serious doubt that ergonomic injuries exist at all. The hearings are so one-sided that the one held at Stanford University Monday was picketed by the AFL-CIO. As long as the GOP is wooing us, it might take notice that we are really tired of being told it's all in our heads. Our heads work fine, thanks -- it's the backs and wrists and feet that hurt.

Another thing that would be helpful to women is universal health insurance. If there's one thing worse than breast cancer, it's having breast cancer and no medical insurance. In Texas, women who have survived breast cancer have formed an organization to help women without insurance (www.texaswings.org), but these are slow, laborious, individual campaigns and can only cover a few dozen cases. And that's just one form of cancer, and cancer is just one disease. We could really use some help on this issue.

And then, just to add an old favorite to the list, perhaps the GOP has noticed that wage discrimination has not disappeared. As difficult as it is to bring a class-action suit to court these days and as long as it takes to try it, women are still winning after proving, yet again, they are underpaid compared to men doing the same work.

Another item that would help working women is increasing the pathetically small number of people doing workplace inspections for health and safety conditions. Sweatshops did not go out with corsets: Many women still work in them.

An increase in the minimum wage would also help women even more than it would men. And as long as we're dreaming, why not a living wage? Then we might be able to afford decent housing, and speaking of housing, if the GOP would quit cutting the funding for it, there might actually be some affordable housing.

So, GOP, it's swell that you propose to serenade us, perhaps in barbershop quartet harmony. But forget the candy and flowers. As Eliza Doolittle sang, "Show Me."
© 2001 Molly Ivins







San Francisco And The Enemy Within?

By Tally Briggs

I can see why manic-depressives need medication. The ultra-high/devastatingly-low experiences I can't do everyday. Hell, it was hard enough going through Act III, Scene ii of Romeo and Juliet: Iím married to the best guy on earth and tonight he is all mine! What??? He just killed my cousin and he is BANISHED? At least I had a paycheck, an amazing Romeo, and the best writing in the history of the theatre to help balance the mood-swings. My recent trip to the Bay Area was a bit of a high-low roller coaster and might have been eased with a bit of lithium.

Last week I had the amazing opportunity to meet and pal around San Francisco with two of my favorite writers and consummate gentlemen, Isaac Peterson, and Jim Higdon. (Thank the Goddess for them, or it would have been utterly depressing!) They were sweet enough to invite me up to a speaking engagement of Vincent Bugliosiís at the Grand Lake Theatre in Oakland. Even though I couldn't really afford it, I knew I'd kick myself endlessly and have deep regrets if I passed this up, besides, if just one person pays me to write, it's a business trip, right? If only... someday.

I can't tell you how excited I was to have this opportunity! Meeting two other writers who I have been applauding over endless emails, and to get a chance to hear one of the best prosecutors in the country speak about what I consider the greatest crime in the history of the United States, the theft of a presidential election, was like a dream come true. I was full of boundless hope.

The first day and a half were amazing. Isaac and I met at the airport and shared a ride into the city and were even fortunate enough to be staying mere blocks from each other just off Union Square. Isaac is a gentle giant of a man, very soft-spoken and determined, full of passion. He misses his new girlfriend who is in Australia visiting her family, very much. It was so wonderful to hear him talk of her. Jim Higdon is the very definition of a Bay Area Liberal. Cute, tan, sexy grayish hair, lean, kid at heart, fellow thespian, knows and is proud of his California wine heritage.

The first night we drove down to Jim's neck-o-the-bay for dinner. We had a great time along with fabulous food! I confess I had to steal Isaac's camera at one point after he snapped a photo of me in my white cotton Gap top, sans bra, (hey, they're ok for a gal my age!), attempting to club soda a bit of sauce off my left breast. No wet-tee-shirt action here guys! Fortunately, he managed to grab the wrong camera out of my purse. (Both identical Kodak disposables.) So I apparently have the photo in question, yet to be developed.

All of us met early the next morning to show Isaac the city, since he'd never been there before. We walked from Union Square down through China Town, to Pier 39, snacking on shellfish cocktails and chowder along Fishermanís Wharf, then down to Ghirardelli Square for lunch, (such touristas!) hanging out, and talking politics. I must say it felt like we were making history, sort of like George Bernard Shaw sitting at the Museum pub in London conversing with Karl Marx, or something like that.

Jim, having joined Voter March West, and being seen as the charismatic, witty, and relaxed speaker that he is, was set to chair the event, which included other speakers in addition to Mr. Bugliosi. (Isaac, having joined Voter March in Minneapolis, is already on the Board of Directors! Go Isaac!) The Amazing Mr. Higdon! He even tried to get us into the dinner that was scheduled with Bugliosi and some of the folks from Voter March. Well, Vincent was running late, and didnít make dinner, which was a shame, but didn't stop us from enjoying a great little Italian Trattoria.

We arrived at the theatre about thirty minutes before the event was scheduled to begin so Jim could get squared away. The Grand Lake Theatre, built in 1926 originally as a Vaudeville and silent movie house, has breathtaking art-deco fixtures and retains the original orchestra pit. It even has that wonderful musty smell of dusty curtains and aging wood. There is nothing like the smell of a theatre.

The excitement in the air was palpable. There were tables set up in the lobby with information on Voter March, and one with a great assortment of bumper stickers ranging from 'I Will Never Get Over It' to 'I'm a Pagan and I Vote'. Ha ha. We took our seats and anxiously waited for the event to begin.

Within a matter of moments, all my hopes and optimism were extinguished like the day I learned from my best friend there was no Santa Clause. From the very moment the first speaker reached the microphone after Jim's introduction, things went straight to hell. I felt like I was in a low rent comedy club on open mic amateur night, with a bunch of drunken hecklers in the crowd.

I have never seen such blatant disrespect in my life. Every speaker had something valid to say, but there were many who weren't listening. There were screams and shouts from the audience of every kind, constantly interrupting. Democrats blaming the Greens and Ralph Nader's ego. The Greens and Independents blaming Al Gore for not using Clinton and running on his own legacy. It's your fault! No, it's your fault! It was like being in a room with a bunch of children fighting over who broke the lamp. The anger and resentment was such that all I wanted to do was get on the next flight back to Burbank. I could totally see how the Students for a Democratic Society disbanded after the other liberal fringe groups at the time shouted them down. Apparently we've learned nothing in the art of how to get along and work together. At least they were a bit kinder to Mr. Bugliosi. But I was so disheartened! I didnít even have the stomach to wait in line to get some copies of The Betrayal of America signed. I just wanted to go.

Isaac was much braver and far more tolerant than I to wait in line to speak to Bugilosi. Isaac is a man of infinite patience. I knew it would have fed my anger and disappointment even further to be around the crowd. Not to mention after seven years working at Disneyland, I don't do crowds of any kind well, so I was content to wait in the darkness of the back of the house. But it was wonderful to see Isaac in his element, towering over everyone and smiling, and finally getting to speak to The Man himself. Jim Higdon, who is a fellow actor, saw and felt my pain, and equated it a bit to us being in a theatre, which somehow deep down is our Temple, which is entirely true but it was also much more than that.

I saw exactly how fractured and scattered we are. How unfocused. There is so much finger-pointing going on, so much blame for what happened, that no one is looking at what to do now, and I think that is what the GOP is counting on.

There were many factors that led to the sinking of the Titanic, just as there were many factors that enabled the pResidency to be handed to Bush. But the main factor, or our iceberg if you will, was the disenfranchisement of the nation by the Felonious Supreme Court Five. Many people, including Bugliosi, in my opinion, misstate that they negated only the 50 million people who voted for Al Gore. They did much more than that. They negated everyoneís vote, including those who voted for Bush, Nader, Buchanan, et al, by being the only ones whose vote did count. Everyone can scream about Gore and Nader all they want, but without the illegal intervention of the United States Supreme Court, Al would be in the Oval Office, and most of the country, no, the World, knows it.

It is time to get our proverbial act together. We must focus! We are set on self-destruct and it couldnít make the far right-wing nut jobs happier. We have to stop the in-fighting. We not only need to come together and build a better ship, we have to build the best and make our vision sharp enough to steer clear of not only the iceberg, but the thousand other details that put Bush in the White House. I learned some things on this trip and believe me, the iceberg and its children are getting more powerful every day. Haven't we witnessed how they can mobilize into a rioting mob at a moment's notice?

There are many, many changes that need to be made. Yes, the Electoral College needs to be abolished, but for now, we have to make sure the Rocks and Coyote states along with the rest of the country do not get any more faux felon lists, and bogus road blocks. Until the rules change, we must make the best of them. Yes, we need instant run-off elections. But we do not have them now, and until we do, we need every candidate and supporter to check their egos and ideologies at the door, and in the event of a close election, get behind whoever turns out to be the next Big Dog. We have to insist on the likes of Katherine Harris not continuing to successfully disenfranchise all but the Republican votes. Don't think for a minute that she's not trying to open a nation wide franchise.

We must be ruthless in making sure everyone's voice be heard and everyone's vote be counted. If we don't, and continue the in-fighting, back biting, whining, and blaming, then we are going to be subjected to another four more years of Dubya, or worse. There is much work to be done, but we all have to move forward together, in the same direction. Compromises must be made on all sides or we will stay mired in the quicksand we have been unwittingly placed. We must keep the lines of communication open and recognize propaganda for what it is. With the death of The Fairness Doctrine, we can no longer trust the media to tell the truth and get the word out. As we know, and they have proven time and again, they are already on the enemy payroll.

We are not the enemy. It is time to come together, and move beyond Nader and Gore. As good points as either have from whatever prospective you see it from, there is far too much damage there to be of use to us now. It's time to cut bait. If we hang on to either of these it will only act as a cancer and eat away at whatever body politic is left, and kill us outright. This is what the Right is betting on. If we succumb to our own fracturing self-destructive nature, and refuse to heal it ourselves by coming together, then they will win, and Devil Spawn Dubya will be locked in for as long as they choose to keep him there.

There is only one way to get the government back before it is completely reshaped in the Far Right Wingís image, and that is to fire them all, while we still have a right to vote, and before the Felonious Five take that privilege away permanently.

A hero will rise, and we have to be ready and focused enough to recognize and support them when they do.

To be able to return to the west side of the bay with the boys was a very welcome moment, but all in all, it was a lesson well learned. I just hope I am not the only one who sees it.
© 2001 Tally Briggs



The Cartoon Corner

This edition we're proud to showcase the cartoons of Jeff Stahler






To End On A Happy Note ...

Karl Rove

Sung to the tune of "China Grove
With apologies to The Doobie Brothers

(instrumental intro)

The Bush son f*cks up,
Though this creep now wears the crown,
Shrub cannot act alone,
As his spokesmen prep him for another day.
Tells him to stay at home.

These creeps who stole the crown are strange.
But they're proud of this man's name...
They're talkin' about Karl Rove.
(Talkin' about Karl Rove)
Karl Rove... Karl Rove... oh, that Karl Rove.

Rove's his teacher and a creature of mud, from Austin.
Architect of the Bush crown.
When the gossip gets to flying, he'll just start lyin'
When the Son goes falling down.
They say that Bush Daddy's big name
Is what kept this jerk in the game...

We're talkin' about Karl Rove.
(Talkin' about Karl Rove)
Karl Rove... Karl Rove... oh, that Karl Rove.

(instrumental break)

When we say, Bush hears Karl Rove's drumming,
We mean right wing radical views.
Dubya and his cronies have umbilical cords.
What they've done, we hear, is music to the Right.

(piano riff)

And though Bush was head of the Lone Star State
Only the rich got care.
They'll just keep on looking for their feast.

(instrumental break)

They're talkin' about Karl Rove.
(Talkin' about Karl Rove)
Karl Rove... Karl Rove... oh, that Karl Rove.
New lyrics by WK Tong





Activist Alerts

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good people to do nothing." ... Edmund Burke



SUPPORT THE OREGON DEMOCRATS' PROPOSAL TO IMPEACH THE FELONIOUS FIVE!

Here's what you can do to help:

1. Write your members of Congress and urge them to support the Democratic Party of Oregon's resolution.

2. Contact your local and/or state Democratic Party office urging them to also support the resolution.

3. Contribute to the Democratic Party of Oregon. We plan to continue to promote this resolution and your contribution, no matter how small, will help us in this fight for democracy. Click on Democratic Party of Oregon to send your support today!


Supreme Injustice
by STEVE COBBLE

Lest we forget--just over six months ago, the Rehnquist Court stole an election in broad daylight. In fear of the truth, the Scalia Five intervened to block all votes from being counted, an action "unprecedented" (both historically and judicially) in US history. Though the June 12 "anniversary" went unnoticed by the media, we must never forget.

Was it the worst Supreme Court decision in US history, as American University Constitutional scholar Jamin Raskin has suggested? Considering that Raskin is a staunch civil rights advocate, the very thought that he would rank Bush v. Gore lower than both the Dred Scott and Plessy rulings is instructive. Nor does Raskin stand alone in his opinion of this judicial coup.

Justice John Paul Stevens: "One thing, however, is certain. Although we may never know with complete certainty the identity of the winner of this year's Presidential election, the identity of the loser is perfectly clear. It is the Nation's confidence in the judge as an impartial guardian of the rule of law. I respectfully dissent."

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg: "In sum, the Court's conclusion that a constitutionally adequate recount is impractical is a prophecy the Court's own judgment will not allow to be tested. Such an untested prophecy should not decide the Presidency of the United States. I dissent." And related is the unsigned per curiam decision of the Scalia 5, a transparent attempt to try to avoid history's scarlet letter.

Hendrik Hertzberg, former presidential speechwriter: "The election of 2000 was not stolen. It was expropriated."

David Kairys, Temple University: "We had a constitutional crisis, and it was Bush v. Gore. History will not be kind."

Suzanna Sherry, Vanderbilt University: "There is really very little way to reconcile this opinion other than that they wanted Bush to win."

Jeffrey Rosen, legal scholar: "They have...made it impossible for citizens of the United States to sustain any kind of faith in the rule of law as something larger than the self-interested political preferences of William Rehnquist, Antonin Scalia, Clarence Thomas, Anthony Kennedy, and Sandra Day O'Connor."

Randall Kennedy, Harvard University: "But we should also insist that there be no confirmation for Scalia-like champions of the right-wing agenda. The Supreme Court has hurt its own reputation by wrongly intervening to ensure the victory of George W. Bush. Those who abhor what the Court did should say so and say so loudly and clearly."

Jesse Jackson and John Sweeney: "But if it comes down for justices to the 14th amendment and the promise of equal protection, one can only hope for the sake of the country that they consider how not counting all the votes mirrors too closely the habits of heart and mind that brought us slavery and segregation--the original sins of our nation that the equal protection clause sought to repair."

And, of course, Vincent Bugliosi, prosecutor of Charles Manson and author of several bestselling true-crime books, in The Betrayal of America: ". . . the Court committed the unpardonable sin of being a knowing surrogate for the Republican Party instead of being an impartial arbiter of the law.... [The Court searched] mightily for a way, any way at all, to aid their choice for president, Bush, in the suppression of the truth, finally settling, in their judicial coup d'État, on the untenable argument that there was a violation of the Fourteenth Amendment's equal protection clause..."

Recent polls indicate the public's growing dissatisfaction with the results of the Scalia Five's decision. A survey conducted by the Pew Research Center and Princeton Survey Research Associates (June 13-17) showed George W. Bush's job approval rating at just 50 percent, down six points from March; the New York Times survey with CBS News (June 14-18) put the rating at 53 percent, down seven points from March. And Democracy Corps's Greenberg Quinlan Rosner poll (June 11-13) found that 48 percent of likely voters think the nation is currently on the "wrong track." Perhaps most tellingly, 25 percent of voters in the Democracy Corps poll said that the phrase "not really elected President" describes Bush "very well," with another 15 percent saying that it describes him "well"--in other words, six months after the Scalia Five coup, 40 percent of likely voters still believe Bush was not really elected President.

What then, is to be done?

The least we can do is know our own history, and to understand that what the Injustices did was an insult to the dreams and ideals of Lexington and Concord, Valley Forge and Jefferson and Paine, Gettsyburg and Lincoln and Douglass, Selma and King, Seneca Falls and Anthony, Delano and Chavez, Flint and Debs and Lewis. We can bear witness to injustice, in the nonviolent protest tradition of Thoreau, Gandhi, King, Havel, Robinson, Chavez.

The Scalia Five's judicial coup came down on the second Tuesday last December. So, on the second Tuesday of July, July 10, 2001, the Tuesday after the Pro-Democracy Convention in Philadelphia, the Tuesday between Independence Day and Bastille Day, the Institute for Policy Studies and friends are calling for a peaceful, nonviolent vigil at the Supreme Court building, at noon.

On July 10--and each Tuesday at noon from then on--let's gather at the scene of the crime, and bear witness to the truth. The Scalia Five won't be there; but we should be.

Bring a candle or a bell, like the Czechs a decade ago. Bring a copy of the Voters' Bill of Rights, or the US Constitution. Send an e-mail to all your friends, with your favorite quote from this list. Bring Pablo Neruda's and Marge Piercy's poems. Bring the next generation, so they will never forget. Bring your commitment to restore, rebuild, and expand American democracy. The Supreme Court cheated. Democracy lost. For now.
©2001 STEVE COBBLE


Send $100 or $1000 to The Heritage Foundation or Other Right-Wing Groups

This ultra-conservative group needs donations! Lend them a helping hand by sending them a few $100 or $1000 bills ... Confederate ones! Click here to print or download the bills. Send them to other right-wing groups as well!

And if you still want to annoy the Heritage Foundation, you can always go to their online donation form as soon as you try to leave the page, a pop-up window appears asking why you decided not to donate. Give them an explanation, but remember to be polite!


TO OUR REPRESENTATIVES AND SENATORS IN THE UNITED STATES CONGRESS

We, the undersigned voters, know that our cherished democracy is endangered from within by the grave and potentially fatal flaws in our voting systems exposed by the Presidential Election of 2000.

As our elected representatives, you have the duty, the opportunity, and the privilege to correct these flaws and to restore fair and honest elections throughout our nation. To this end, we charge you to construct and pass a VOTERS BILL OF RIGHTS, which shall include:

Strict enforcement and extension of the Voting Rights Act to prevent the disenfranchisement of voters and require full investigation and criminal prosecution of any offenders;

Standardized, easily understandable federal election ballots

Funding to replace old and unreliable voting machines to ensure that every vote is counted fairly and accurately

Genuine campaign finance reform that bans campaign contributions from special interests

Replacement of the Electoral College with a majority-rule election, or substantial reform of the Electoral College to allow for proportional representation

Measures to increase voter participation by eliminating bureaucratic hurdles to voter registration and turnout, including language barriers, physical barriers, archaic equipment, and lack of resources

Enactment and enforcement of a VOTERS BILL OF RIGHTS will restore trust in our government and encourage participation in our democratic processes. The linchpin of a democracy is the process by which we select our representatives and leaders. The right to vote is our defining right as citizens of this nation. We call upon our elected representatives to protect our Constitution from abusive exercise of government power by enacting a VOTERS BILL OF RIGHTS.

We pledge our full and constant support for enactment of a VOTERS BILL OF RIGHTS.

A Note of Protest:

It is likely that 50% of the U.S. population is strongly dissatisfied with the ascendancy of George W. Bush to the office of President. There are three likely reasons:
1. Bush won the election under questionable circumstances;
2. Bush has espoused a reactionary platform that places him far to the right of mainstream America;
3. Bush has demonstrated none of the intellectual attributes expected of a president.

In the interest of democracy, one could discredit election gripes (point number one) as being unfair to our longstanding electoral college process.. Also, one might disregard Bush’s agenda (point number two) because the hallmark of the United States Constitution is tolerance for divergent political and moral beliefs.

However, point number three leads to a more egregious problem, namely that a rather anonymous man, with no distinguishing ambition or vision has, by virtue of family wealth and connection, been installed as President of the United States. Even the most cursory glance at George W. Bush’s history and character builds a strong case for charges of nepotism and cronyism. Such a glaring display of favoritism, to benefit an individual with no considerable talent, runs counter to the spirit of competition and fair play that has driven the engine of American capitalism for more than two hundred years.

There is a way to tangibly and immediately raise a voice in protest of George W. Bush as President. For the remainder of his term, conscientious Americans should simply write "George W. Bush is an Idiot" on all U.S. currency that passes through their hands.

This protest has already begun. The first bills were marked and spent in San Francisco as of January 26, 2001. What is important, though, is to not only begin marking all currency (and to continue the effort throughout the Bush presidency), but to forward this memo as much as possible so as to replicate the message throughout our money supply.

In an effort to mark money more industriously, many of us have ordered a BUSH IS A FRAUD rubber stamp; these self-inking rubber stamps are useful for marking the "Fraud" message in red ink.

Make your voice heard,
Steven Capozzola
San Francisco, California


BOYCOTTS


Top twenty Republican donors with global consumer brands:

1 Philip Morris - $4,554,732
2 BP (ARCO) - $1,865,458
3 Am way - $1,729,500
4 News Corp - $1,204,950
5 Enron - $1,146,615
6 Citigroup – $1,079,225
7 MCI Worldcom - $1,074,608
8 Federal Express (FDX Corp) - $1,057,550
9 Pfizer - $1,051,225
10 Chevron Texaco - $862,056
11 Bristol-Myers Squibb - $848,556
12 Revlon Group/ MacAndrews & Forbes - $761,000
13 Limited Inc - $750,000
14 Glaxo-Wellcome - $702,795
15 Walt Disney - $663,625
16 Anheuser-Busch - $663,025
17 Archer Daniels Midland - $660,000
18 Microsoft - $644,816
19 Coca Cola - $610,875
20 Schering-Plough - $600,685



"Lie" isn't an adequate word for what Republicans say. We need a new term; I propose anti-truth, as in, "There are lies, damned lies, and Republican anti-truths." Like matter and anti-matter, Republicans and the truth just can't occupy the same space. What they say goes all the way through and past "untrue" into the realm of turning reality inside out, tying a knot in it, and yanking hard.
M.E. Cowan




CONTRIBUTING LINKS

















Parting Shots...



Hughes On First
Spider Boy vs. the Hedgehog

From: GWB
To: Hank Blakely
Sent: Monday, July 30, 2001
Subject: Can't we all just get along?

Call me suspect, but I think somethin's goin' on.

Usually, ever'thin' runs like clockwork 'round here: Dick C draws up some plans, ever'body knows what they're supposed to do and they just do it. But Dick ain't been all that well lately, and now it's like somebody threw a spaniel in the works.

As you know, I'm not a bettin' man, but I'd have to say it's five to three that Dick won't be with us much longer. I don't mean necessarily that the Good Lord will take him - although you got to consider that too - but that he's sorta fadin' away from us.

Right now he's kinda here and kinda not, and it's all 'cause a' that thing in his chest. I know he likes to call it a "pacemaker plus", but it's no such thing. It's really just like them machines you see on ER or General Hospital - with the paddles? Only these're inside a' him. And, never mind what he says, it's a big deal. Sometimes Dick'll be talkin', and all of a sudden he'll sit bolt upright and get very quiet, and you can tell he's got his mind on Other Things just then.

The effect on the government machine is uncalculatable. Nothin' works the way it useta. Mistakes is bein' made. The biggest effect is on how people is gettin' on with each other - or not, as it may be the case. 'Specially Karen and Karl.

They useta get along as good as anybody else on my staff. (Although, as I write that, It come to me that it ain't a particular commendation). But they was at least medium civil to each other. I tell you, sometimes I really miss the old days in Texas, when me, Karen, Karl, Joe Allbaugh, and Don Evans was makin' our way through those tough early days a' the campaign. Then we was all focused on the same thing: gettin' me this job. But now that I'm completely executin' my office, it seems like ever'body's raisin' their legs on each other.

This thing with Dick's illness is kinda like sharks. They always seem to know when one a' their own is about to take the long count, and then the ambitions commence. And the tougher the sharks, the more ambitions there is. And it's particularly bad when the sharks is like cats and dogs (Did that make sense?).

Now you take Karen. She's all open-range. I mean she pretty much says what she believes, and you always know where you're standin' with her. Oh, she can be kinda crisp at times - some a' the Press Corps calls her "Nurse Ratchett", which I believe ain't a compliment - and sometimes it looks like her hair don't number a comb amongst its acquaintances. And then she's got that expression that makes you think she ain't approved of nothin' since she was in diapers.

I guess I could summon it up by sayin' that she don't remind me of anythin' as much as a angry hedgehog. That's how come I call her "Hedgy", which she don't like, or "Edgy Hedgy", which she don't like even more.

But don't let her fool ya, she's one sharp gal. She's the empress a' communication around here, and she touches pretty near ever' word that comes in or outta here. Ari don't get to say a word to the press without she's told him it's okay. She edits alla my speeches and nearly ever'thin' else I say in public. Fact: durin' the campaign? When we couldn't find nobody good who could write my autobiography? She wrote it herself. And it's a fine piece a' writin', if I do say so myself. And I can even see where some things coulda happened just the way the book says they did.

Now, it's true that some folks was a little worried about Karen at first - you see, some a' my policies that my people think up could be interpreted as havin' a bad effect on families, 'specially on poor families. It's unfortunate, but sometimes you just haveta take the long view, and there's what they call "collateral damage".

Anyhow, some folks was mindful that Karen was real solicitous about her family and all, and they was a little concerned that she might identify with families instead a' us, and might raise some objections to some a' our plans. But, no sir! It don't matter who it hurts, Hedgy's right on board with it!

I have always admired people who can compartmentalize. Now, old Karl ain't nothin' like Karen. Karl is more a' what you might call a back-door, behind-the-tree type a' man - what Dick C calls a "eminence grease". When things happen that Karl don't like, he fixes 'em, but you never see him doin' it. And he don't want you to see it, neither, makes him right nervous when you do, and it ain't a good idea to get Karl nervous.

Makes me mind when I was a boy growin' up in Midland. One summer, we had a outbreak a' Southern Black Widows. Now, this is not a spider to fool around with. Its bite can make you very sick for a long time, and it can kill some people. Ever'body was very concerned about the Widows. But I was stupid when I was young, and useta go lookin' for 'em, pretendin' I was a mercenarian soldier huntin' dangerous creatures in the jungle.

But I never so much as saw one until one evenin' in late August. By then I had long since forgotten all about the Widows. I was lookin' for somethin' down in the cellar that night, and I was shinin' my flashlight around in a corner, when all of a sudden there was a Widow. When my light picked him out he threw his legs up in the air and lit out. I could almost hear him screamin' in surprise. But the only place to go was the corner, so all of a sudden he turned around and headed straight back for me!

I didn't know if those things could take me on or not, and I sure didn't aim to find out that night. The only thing I could think to do was run like hell, which I promptly did. I didn't go near that cellar again for the rest a' the summer, and I was very careful about puttin' on closet clothes for even longer, 'cause I knew spiders sometimes hid in 'em.

The point a' that is that Karl's reaction when people find him out reminds me a bit a' that spider. So, a' course, I call him "Spider Boy". But I never tell him exactly why.

The thing about a Black Widow is, you don't have to know exactly where it is to be scared. Just knowin' it's around is enough.

So you can see these are two pretty powerful players, and Dick C bein' down like he is now sorta unbalances things. Some say nature don't like a vacuum, and with Dick gone, that's all we'd have. So it's only natural there would be some jockeyin' goin' on. The other day, for instance. Karen come into the Oval and engaged me in some light chit-chat. After a while, she asked me wasn't it a shame about all the trouble with Karl's business dealin's lately?

Let me explain about that. Karl got in a little trouble last month over some meetin's he had with some business people. These was some top people from companies like Intel, General Electric and a pharmaceuticals industry group. Problem was, Karl had over a quarter of a million dollars invested in each one of them at the time, so the way the press saw it, he had 750,000 good reasons to meet with them. The press made an unusually big deal outta it. Then Henry Waxman and his committee got in on it, demandin' that Dan Burton's Government Reform Committee investigate. Then they demanded that Karl give a full accountin' a' his meetin's. Well Dan didn't, and Karl kinda stuck his middle finger in Henry's face.

I gotta admit I didn't know anythin' about all this when Karen asked me, but she had a folder with lotsa news clippin's all about it, and she give 'em to me to read.

A coupla days later, Karl and me was talkin' - well, actually Karl was doin' all the talkin'. Mostly he was ticked about all the press attention he was suddenly gettin', and how Henry was on his case, and how now there was even rumors goin' around about whether Karl had anythin' to do with Jim Hatfield's suicide. (Hatfield's that fella what wrote that damn awful book, Fortunate Son, about me), which is ridiculous, a' course, cause Karl don't play the game that way - least, not as far as I know.

But what had him most P.O' ed was how ever'body'd got wind of all this in the first place. He said "It's almost like an inside job. Somebody knows too much, and can't keep his mouth shut around the press".

I told him I was surprised how many news articles there was about it - and then he stopped me. "How'd you see those articles, George?" he asked, (emphasizin' "you" in a way that got me a little riled). I told him Karen give 'em to me.

"Really?" he said. Then he was quiet a moment, then he asked, "Is Karen around today?" I told him I understood she'd gone outta town for a coupla days.

"Oh, yes, I remember" he said, gettin' up. "Well, that's all right, I'll just drop by her office. You never know, she might still be there."

Then he went off down the hallway, whistlin' his favorite tune ("Mighty Like A Rose"), and his mood seemed much improved.

A few days later, I went by Karen's office, where she had four or five a' her staff with her. They had papers all over the table and on the floor, and they was lookin' pretty worried. I went in, and right away Karen said "Could we talk a little later, George? This is important". I noticed that the papers looked like Income Tax returns.

Just as I turned to go, though, she asked me if I'd seen Karl around. I told her I thought he'd gone home a coupla hours ago. She turned and pointed a finger at one a' her guys, who nodded, got up straight away, and left the room.

Now, just this mornin', Karl passed me in the hallway. He looked upset and was walkin' very fast toward Karen's office, where he went in and shut the door. Then there was some loud talkin', but I couldn't make out anythin'.

I'll just be glad when all this is over. It'll be a relief to find out who's in charge now.

Your Pal
W

PS: Still workin' on that big secret project I mentioned last week. Here's another hint: Tammy Faye Bakker!
© 2001 Hank Blakely





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Issues & Alibis Vol 1 # 22 © 08/10/2001

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